Write one cohesive, organized paragraph (with opening sentence, closing sentence, and details/examples from the text) comparing and contrasting on of the following:
–Bradbury vs. Teasdale on the aftermath of war
–Bradbury vs. Teasdale in their characterization of nature
–YOU MUST INCLUDE THE IMAGERY WE DISCUSSED AS PART OF YOUR PROOF!
–YOU MUST ALSO INCLUDE AT LEAST THREE TRANSITIONS.
Don't forget to complete Part 1, Unit 2 Vocabulary
Bradbury’s characterization of nature in his short story “August 2026: there will come soft rains” is very different from Sarah Teasdale’s in her poem “There will come soft rains,” featured at the end of Bradbury’s story. WHILE BOTH prove that nature will take over after humanity destroys itself in war, the imagery that each uses shows that their understanding of nature is different. Bradbury’s nature is angry and reclaims the earth by force. The imagery is so strong that a reader might actually be afraid of nature. AT THE END OF THE STORY, “a falling tree bough crashe[s] through the kitchen window.” One can feel the heat and hear the flames as “the fire in ten billion angry sparks move[s] with flaming ease from room to room.” Teasdale’s imagery, ON THE OTHER HAND, is quite the opposite. Nature is still reclaiming the earth, but instead of the heat of fire, the reader feels the cool of “soft rains and the smell of the ground.” ADDITIONALLY, INSTEAD OF seeing sparks, the reader visualizes “wild plum trees in tremulous white.” The positive imagery of Teasdale’s poem reflects nature as a positive force. IN CONCLUSION, though BOTH texts show nature taking over after humanity self-destructs in war, the imagery in Bradbury’s description proves nature as equally frightening as war, WHILE Teasdale’s description proves nature as comforting and peaceful.
ReplyDeleteNotice that I had to capitalize my transitions because I couldn't underline them!
Remember, your paragraph must be written using correct format or else I will be sending it back to you! It would be a good idea if you posted your paragraph tonight so that I can comment back to you!
The story "August 2026" written by Bradburry as a different vision of nature INSTEAD of Teasdale's poem "There will come soft rains".
ReplyDeleteIn the Bradburry story the nature seems to be angry and reclaims the earth to force "A falling tree bough the kitchen". ON THE OTHER HAND is quite the opposite, the nature seems to be peaceful, charming and calm " There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground, And swallows circling with their shimmering sound".
In conclusion both texts show the nature force after a war. Bradburry gives a description of nature equally frightening as war. WHILE Teasdale gives a positive description of nature, so dissimilar to Brandburry's one.
Valentina--
ReplyDeleteGreat job posting tonight! In your opening sentence, make sure you write out the short story title and both authors' names. "Instead" isn't quite the right word here, either. "Instead" typically means rather than or in place of. Simply writing "than" would work better. Otherwise good opening.
In your middle sentences, I would like you to bring up the fact that you are citing imagery specifically. It is through the imagery that the reader gets a particular feeling from nature. "On the other hand" is a great transition to use here, but you have no subject in that sentence! WHAT exactly "is quite the opposite"? The poem? The imagery relating to nature?
Your closing sentence is very good, too. In English we tend not to say "the nature force" but "the forces of nature." Lastly, combine the final two sentences into one as "While Teasdale gives a positive description of nature, so dissimilar to Bradbury's one" is a fragment.
The short story “August 2026, There will come soft rain” by Ray Bradbury and the poem “There will come soft rain”by Sarah Teasdale, both of the writings are written after wars and the two writers have used nature as the main theme but in two different ways. FIRST OF ALL, Bradbury well used nature as a force can destroy and damage the robotic house. FOR INSTANCE, he expresses the fire like “ten billion angry sparks moved with flaming ease from room to room”. It gives the reader an intense image that how powerful the nature can be. IN CONTRAST, Teasdale has used distinct technique to show the nature, she conveys nature more gentle and in a positive way. ESPECIALLY, the words “soft rains” give us a sense of peace. AS IS PREVIOUSLY STATED , the forces of nature can be various by different writers ; nature has the power to cure and an unstoppable capacity to exterminate.
ReplyDeleteAini,
ReplyDeleteThe transitions really help your writing. Continue to refer to the guide I gave you!
Your ideas are good, but I would like you to think about why the writers are using nature in their writing. What is the purpose? What is nature's role in each text?
Also, your first sentence is very good, but you have two subjects. Look:
The short story “August 2026, There will come soft rain” by Ray Bradbury and the poem “There will come soft rain”by Sarah Teasdale, both of the writings are written after wars and the two writers have used nature as the main theme but in two different ways.
"The short story...and the poem..." is your main subject, but then after that you write "both of the writings are written." Instead of "both of the writings are written," you can simply write "are both written," taking out the second subject.
Overall good work! I look forward to your revisions.
The two story's have a different interpretation of nature. In "August 2026" the nature seems to be an antagonist being angry and reclaims the earth to force,while in the story "There will come soft rains" the nature is acting as a tranquil and charming character. In the end both story's show the nature force after a war. Bradburry gives a description of nature angry and evil as war. Instead the story of Tesdale, nature acts as a helper, in a peaceful way, so opposing Bradbury's one.
ReplyDeleteThe story “August 2026, There will come soft rain” by Ray Bradbury and the poem “There will come soft rain”by Sarah Teasdale, are really opposites although BOTH book and poem were written in time of the war when you read the book Ray Bradbury wrote he uses the words in a harsh and rough way but Sarah Teasdale uses the words in a very soft and welcoming way for example Sarah Teasdale used the terms SOFT rains when discribing the rain but Ray Bradbury used falling tree CRASHED through the window..Bradbury's characterization of nature in his short story is very angry and forceful..But Sarah EVEN THOUGH she wrote the poem in time of the war she STILL was so in love with nature she wrote "soft rains and smell of the ground" showing that she loved nature and she loved how the rain would fall on the ground..nature acording to sarah was very peaceful and could make the impossible possible but Bradbury didnt have the same attitide about nature he saw it as a very angry and hash thing.
ReplyDeleteThe short story “August 2026, There will come soft rain” by Ray Bradbury and the poem “There will come soft rain” by Sarah Teasdale are both written after wars and the two writers have used nature as the main theme but in two different ways. FIRST OF ALL, Bradbury well used nature as a force can destroy and damage the robotic house. FOR INSTANCE, he expresses the fire like “ten billion angry sparks moved with flaming ease from room to room”. It gives the reader an intense image that how powerful the nature can be. IN CONTRAST, Teasdale has used distinct technique to show the nature, she conveys nature more gentle and in a positive way. ESPECIALLY, the words “soft rains” give us a sense of peace. FUTHERMORE, both of the writers show the forces of nature after wars, in Teasdale’s point of view nature can clean the chaos after war and return to the way before the war was whereas Bradbury’s idea is worlds apart from Teasdale’s, for him nature is one of the helping hand of war which quicken the speed of demolition and remains nothing. AS IS PREVIOUSLY STATED, the forces of nature can be various showing by different writers; nature has the power to cure and an unstoppable capacity to exterminate as well.
ReplyDeleteFederico,
ReplyDeleteYour writing is clear and concise. It really helps me to understand your argument. Now you MUST start adding details or examples from the text. Like I said, you make a good argument, but without text examples you have no support for it.
Please make sure you are reading my comments to other students. I have already corrected someone on the phrase "nature force" not being quite right in English. You must instead use "forces of nature."
Yola,
Good examples to include. Also good job using varied vocabulary. You must start to formalize your writing when discussing literary texts. NO DOT-DOT-DOTS!!! Also, "describing" NOT "discribing."
Lastly, you showed that the two authors portrayed nature differently, but you did not explain why that is important! That is where your opinion comes in--WHY do you think they portrayed nature differently?
Aini,
ReplyDeleteSo much better! You should be very proud of yourself! Your paragraph was very well-structured and had a clear argument. You used the transitions correctly and they really helped the coherence of your paragraph overall. You were also able to use quotations in an integrated way.
For me, your closing sentence did more than just tie together your thoughts, it really drove home your point.
For some reason I am having trouble connecting to Edline tonight and cannot send an email, but you have certainly earned extra points for rewriting and posting again after my comments!
The short story “August 2026, There will come soft rain” by Ray Bradbury and the poem “There will come soft rain” by Sarah Teasdale, they are talking about after war, and how is the nature has be doing in this paragraph, they both all wintering about nature will take over after humanity destroys itself in war, the Bradbury are angry, that imagery was very strong show to in the story, “a falling tree bough crashed through the kitchen window” and “the fire in ten billion angry sparks move[s] with flaming ease from room to room”. But the Teasdale nature was different than Bradbury nature, in her poem the nature was reclaiming and fix after the war, “There will come soft rains and smell of the ground” that make u fell cool. thought the story I think the Bradbury in his nature was angry, and the Teasdale was kind peaceful.
ReplyDeleteLiebin--
ReplyDeleteGood work! You have a clear opening and closing sentence and evidence in the middle! Fantastic.
Next time, keep your sentences shorter. Your first one is far too long. I would cut the first sentence down to: The short story “August 2026, There will come soft rain” by Ray Bradbury and the poem “There will come soft rain” by Sarah Teasdale, are talking about after war, and how is the nature has be doing.
Notice that I also removed "they" because that was one too many subjects included in the sentence!
The story "August 2026" written by Bradburry as a vision of nature different of Teasdale's poem "There will come soft rains".
ReplyDeleteIn the Bradburry story the nature seems to be furious and is based on in the earth to force "A falling tree bough the kitchen". The other one is the opposite, the nature seems to be calm, relaxing and peaceful. "There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground, And swallows circling with their shimmering sound".
At the end I think both texts show the nature power after a war's damege. Bradburry gives a concise description of nature equally frightening as war. And Teasdale gives a positive description of nature, so completely different form Brandburry's poit of view.
My last thought is that we can't do a lot of Compare between two storyes, but we can Contrast a lot.
Michelangelo--
ReplyDeleteYour work is improving. I think it is helping you to read your classmates' work as examples.
When you wrote "the nature power" I think you meant to write "the power of nature."
Also, when you are composing a paragraph, make sure that you indent the first line, but that the rest of the sentences flow and follow. You do not need to press enter after each sentence!
Good work!
The story “August 2026, There will come soft rain” written by Ray Bradbury and the poem “There will come soft rain” by Sarah Teasdale, have the same topic and at the same period (war). If you read the Bradbury's story, you can notice that he uses harsh and rough words. Unlike Teasdale's poem, she used soft and easy words. They also both talk about nature, for example, Teasdale uses easy words to describe the rain, unlike Bradbury, he used falling tree crashed the window that shows Bradbury is angry. Teasdale is diffrent in a way that she loves Nature "soft rains and smell of the ground".
ReplyDelete