It is evident that Phineas is the “essence of careless peace” because of his reckless behaviour when he jumped off a tree,his laid back attitude about his substandard grades, and his constant desire defy the rules of the school. His personality definitely creates the distinctive atmosphere of New England and of Devon. Phineas is the identity of a careless peace.
Given these points, Finny is the “essence of careless peace” because of having jumped off a tree, having gotten bad grades, and having refused to follow the rules of the school. Thanks to these points, and the continuous actions Finny made throughout the book,his personality can certainly be classified as an essence of careless peace.
After reviewing the sentece several times, I see your point. I guess that sentence is quite the contray to our thesis statement. I guess I wanted to find a negative and positive side of Phineas being the "essence of careless peace". I may have to rethink that statement. Thank you for pointing that out :)
Given these points, Finny is the “essence of careless peace” because of having jumped off a tree, having gotten bad grades, and having refused to follow the rules of the school. The novel showed the reader that carelessness is really the portal to distraction, injury, or death.
I like how your conclusion really does broaden out in the final sentence. You also included a sentence to sum up the main points of your body paragraphs. However, I might consider a sentence to help transition between those two ideas.
Through Finny’s actions, the reader can infer that he is the "essence of careless peace". Being one of the protagonists of the novel, his careless behavior influences the entire plot – just as any person’s nature influences their lives.
Amedeo- You repeated "these points" twice in your conclusion... I would change that :)
Devika- I think I see what you were trying to do: make your conclusion frame our introduction. However, it does seem a little out of place. I love how you repeated and rephrased our thesis statement though!
Your conclusion is phrased nicely, but I don't see you reviewing the main points of your body paragraphs!
Amedeo--
I'd agree with Alice about the "these points" repetition, but I like how you reviewed your main points and your argument. You do need a broad reflection at the end though, too.
Given these points, finny is the essence of careless peace because of having jumped off a tree, having gotten bad grades, and having refused to follow the rules of the school. His carelessness pervaded through Finny and the other students at Devon school. They were living in careless peace even the teacher. As if they were dispatched from the real world and war that was raging around them.
Given these points, Finny is the “essence of careless peace” because of having jumped off a tree, having gotten bad grades, and having refused to follow the rules of the school. The novel gave several points on how "The essence of careless peace" applies to Finny. Although this may be a negative character trait, the fact that he is this way puts a cherry on top of the whole book.
Alice, I like how your conclusion is good and concise, and I think it is great.Just to optimize its perfection, don't you think you can broaden your closing statements?
Ruben: I loved your use of vocabulary such as pervaded and dispatched :) However,I don't really understand what you meant by "they were living in careless peace even the teacher." Maybe you could rephrase that sentence?
Great work, everyone! I love all the constructive comments we are giving each other.
Thierry, your conclusion is well-written, but did you return to the big ideas presented at the beginning of your introduction?
Ruben, I like the beginning of your conclusion a bit better than the end. Like Devika said, the vocabulary is great, too! However, did you notice your last sentence is a fragment?
All in all, throughout the novel A Separate Peace by John Knowles, the protagonist Finny is the "essence of careless peace" because, he jumps off a tree, refuses to follow the rules of the school, and gets bad grades. consequently, he ends up crippled for the remainder of his short-lived life, with no one to comfort him. Going back to one of the introductions "a man that is careless once gets to live again. A man that is careless excessively, will never live to be careless again." This was proved a pervasive theme in the novel.
It is evident that Phineas is the “essence of careless peace” because of his reckless behaviour when he jumped off a tree,his laid back attitude about his substandard grades, and his constant desire defy the rules of the school. His personality definitely creates the distinctive atmosphere of New England and of Devon. Phineas is the identity of a careless peace.
ReplyDeleteDevika--
ReplyDeleteOverall good work. You reviewed your main points and then attempted to broaden your ideas back out. However, I question the sentence:
"His personality definitely creates the distinctive atmosphere of New England and of Devon."
I'm just not sure if this related to our thesis statement! What does everyone else think?
Given these points, Finny is the “essence of careless peace” because of having jumped off a tree, having gotten bad grades, and having refused to follow the rules of the school. Thanks to these points, and the continuous actions Finny made throughout the book,his personality can certainly be classified as an essence of careless peace.
ReplyDeleteMs Gelso,
ReplyDeleteAfter reviewing the sentece several times, I see your point. I guess that sentence is quite the contray to our thesis statement. I guess I wanted to find a negative and positive side of Phineas being the "essence of careless peace". I may have to rethink that statement. Thank you for pointing that out :)
Given these points, Finny is the “essence of careless peace” because of having jumped off a tree, having gotten bad grades, and having refused to follow the rules of the school. The novel showed the reader that carelessness is really the portal to distraction, injury, or death.
ReplyDeleteFrancesco--
ReplyDeleteI like how your conclusion really does broaden out in the final sentence. You also included a sentence to sum up the main points of your body paragraphs. However, I might consider a sentence to help transition between those two ideas.
Through Finny’s actions, the reader can infer that he is the "essence of careless peace". Being one of the protagonists of the novel, his careless behavior influences the entire plot – just as any person’s nature influences their lives.
ReplyDeleteAmedeo-
ReplyDeleteYou repeated "these points" twice in your conclusion... I would change that :)
Devika-
I think I see what you were trying to do: make your conclusion frame our introduction. However, it does seem a little out of place. I love how you repeated and rephrased our thesis statement though!
Alice--
ReplyDeleteYour conclusion is phrased nicely, but I don't see you reviewing the main points of your body paragraphs!
Amedeo--
I'd agree with Alice about the "these points" repetition, but I like how you reviewed your main points and your argument. You do need a broad reflection at the end though, too.
Given these points, finny is the essence of careless peace because of having jumped off a tree, having gotten bad grades, and having refused to follow the rules of the school. His carelessness pervaded through Finny and the other students at Devon school. They were living in careless peace even the teacher. As if they were dispatched from the real world and war that was raging around them.
ReplyDeleteGiven these points, Finny is the “essence of careless peace” because of having jumped off a tree, having gotten bad grades, and having refused to follow the rules of the school. The novel gave several points on how "The essence of careless peace" applies to Finny. Although this may be a negative character trait, the fact that he is this way puts a cherry on top of the whole book.
ReplyDeleteAlice, I like how your conclusion is good and concise, and I think it is great.Just to optimize its perfection, don't you think you can broaden your closing statements?
Ruben:
ReplyDeleteI loved your use of vocabulary such as pervaded and dispatched :)
However,I don't really understand what you meant by "they were living in careless peace even the teacher." Maybe you could rephrase that sentence?
Great work, everyone! I love all the constructive comments we are giving each other.
ReplyDeleteThierry, your conclusion is well-written, but did you return to the big ideas presented at the beginning of your introduction?
Ruben, I like the beginning of your conclusion a bit better than the end. Like Devika said, the vocabulary is great, too! However, did you notice your last sentence is a fragment?
All in all, throughout the novel A Separate Peace by John Knowles, the protagonist Finny is the "essence of careless peace" because, he jumps off a tree, refuses to follow the rules of the school, and gets bad grades. consequently, he ends up crippled for the remainder of his short-lived life, with no one to comfort him. Going back to one of the introductions "a man that is careless once gets to live again. A man that is careless excessively, will never live to be careless again." This was proved a pervasive theme in the novel.
ReplyDelete